Oh, dear, they said … what??

August 27, 2013

Bits and Pieces

Don’t you agree that one of the VERY best things about motherhood is enjoying the delightfully cute and funny things that children say and do? In the innocent midst of play and exploration, kids are often  oblivious to just how darn amusing they are. Until, something slips out from their mouths that is just not funny until much, much later ….. because it really is 100% embarrassment – and then some – at the time.

The weekly confessional link-up at Kirsty’s blog this week is all about sharing some red-faced moments of epic social fail. You know, those times when if there was ever some fairness in the world, the ground would split to swallow you whole?

I’m taking a slight side-step on this one though, and embracing those cracking motherhood moments when the cringe-worthy things said and done by your kids have you scuttling in shame. Not that you can take them anywhere a second time anyway …….

The first recount is literally a walk of shame, performed by Mr 16 when he was aged around 2.

At the time we were living in a rural Central Queensland city and with many family and friends in Brisbane, trips to the big smoke were frequent. Picture, Shari’s Courier Service, but with a Nissan Pulsar and not a minivan. I was often a convenient way of taking things up and down the highway for people and didn’t mind a bit.

On one trip, I was asked to take things for a friend in Brisbane from her parents-in-law who lived nearby me. Not a problem. I had known the parents-in-law for a while and was more than comfortable having them pop around for a cuppa to drop off the goodies. The wife had suffered a debilitating stroke many years prior and sadly had very limited use of her left side and experienced speech and movement difficulties. It was lovely to see them when they called in with the parcel, had a cuppa and played a tickle under the chin of Mr 2.

Until …..

Walking them out involved escorting them down the hallway and I was alongside them, only to then turn and see Mr 2 coming up behind us, dragging one leg in an absolutely exaggerated mimic of this poor woman’s walk. It was seriously unfunny at the time and I’m sure I turned beetroot red!

Social faux pas are not just the specialty of only my oldest, my others are gifted in this area too and son number 2 managed to drop an absolute clanger at my grandmother’s funeral. Her farewell was a small, quiet ceremony, fairly plain and sombre …. until …..

“Mum, so what’s in the box out the front?”


“But what’s in the box?”

“Shhhhhh, {whispered} Ma-Ma is in the box”

“{not whispered} SO MA-MA IS IN THAT BOX OUT THERE!!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!!”

For the love of a shiny red zimmerframe, I wanted to disappear.

In order to make myself feel so much better about these social slip-ups ‘performed’ by my children, I’m going to conclude with a story, although not technically mine to share, continues to crack me up.

A lovely friend had her daughter in the same kindergarten class as my middle young man (yes, that’s right, the one who needs to learn funeral etiquette) and at kindy pick up one day, she was approached by the kindy teacher who was almost hysterical by this point and had to disclose what was said at the morning’s show and tell.

Although we do live in a small community, it IS nice to keep some things private, but that is not a concept mastered so well by 4 year olds, is it? That evening, I imagine a number of mums and dads would have been stifling back laughs as they heard about Chelsea’s dad having “his balls cut off and lying on the couch with some ice”. Nothing quite like a public vasectomy is there?

So come on, tell …. what clangers have your kids dropped that have had you wanting to run and hide from embarrassment?

Joining with My Home Truths and also the fabulous IBOT party at Jess‘. See you there!


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6 Responses to “Oh, dear, they said … what??”

  1. The Plumbette Says:

    One time my then two year old uttered a swear word when our dog started to bark unexpectedly. When I called her to face me I asked her where did she learn to use that word and she replied “at grandmas”.


  2. Rhianna Says:

    Oh children are the sweetest things aren’t they? I think the worst mine have done so far other than the old f bomb is the good old does that lady have a baby in her tummy? To the clearly fat rather than pregant woman at the shops


  3. Emily @ Have a laugh on me Says:

    LOL those are classic, the box one – OMG – I can just imagine your horror and dragging their leg, kids are just so innocent, no malice intended on their behalf. And just this evening, Maddi said to me, “I asked Zack why he was always late to school and he said it was because his mummy liked to sleep in” Half her bloody lucky I say!!!!
    I wonder what she tells the kids at school about me – I HATE to think Shari, I hate to think :)


  4. Tegan Says:

    Kids really do say the darndest things! I have a book with all of Mr 4′s funny things he has said. It’s great to read over when he driving me up the wall.


  5. Kirsty @ My Home Truths Says:

    Those clangers are hilarious Shari! My kids have come out with a few in their time but my favourite was Gilbert asking whether a statue of Jesus was actually Hagrid from Harry Potter in the presence of very Catholic people at his old Catholic school. Nothing like being identified straight up as the mum with the heathen child, is there?


  6. Sis Says:

    Oh I love public shame stories from kids!! I’ve had a few too….most recently, at *that* time of the month, I had to take Miss 4 to a public toilet and I had to go too. So of course, she says at the top of her voice “Is that blood mummy? Are you ok? Do you need a bandaid?” Bless!


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