I watched this and then, yes, I judged.

August 23, 2013

Bits and Pieces

I have previously written about how I like to live in a judgement free-zone, especially when it comes to someone’s decisions and actions around family life and the struggle than parenting can at times be. I’m all for making decisions that work best for you and your family, even if they are not widely understood and accepted by others.

That was until today though, I judged. And sniggered. Certainly, I found myself being very critical of a woman for a decision she made without knowing her, her background and life experiences, or the reasons behind her choice. Before saying much more, have a look for yourself ….

After watching this YouTube clip (and maybe regretting stumbling across it!), I formed definite opinions about this woman, her family and what her future possibly held. Those opinions weren’t particularly favourable by the way, and now I find myself philosophising about my right to judge this stranger when her actions are really none of my business at all.

Possibly my main concern is the fear that society may be losing its sense of ‘time and place’, are we remembering what’s appropriate for when and where? Judging by the looks on the faces of some of these wedding guests, they were not anticipating the bride to walk/pole dance down the aisle to poorly sung explicit lyrics. Bless that poor man in the navy shirt attempting to shield his son from the sight. Bless Grandma too, as she looks to make an exit towards the end.

Do you think that this woman was wise to exercise her right to choose whatever song she wanted for her own special day? Is it nobody’s business but hers? Are we justified in judging when the rights of others (in this instance those wedding guests) not to see or hear something are compromised?

I’d love some discussion around this, what are your thoughts?

PS. After more than a million views and a truckload of unflattering comments, I’m guessing she may regret her daughter uploading this to YouTube . Going viral is not always a good thing, right?

It’s Friday – THE perfect day for blog flogging with Grace! See you there!


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6 Responses to “I watched this and then, yes, I judged.”

  1. Rhianna Says:

    oh wow!
    I know it is supposed to take all types but it is hard to watch this and go, yeah this is the type we need in society.

    I am torn between whether this is ok or not. Like you I get the whole who are we to judge but at the same time I think that she still should have considered her audience and how it would make them feel.

    Sure it is her day but if you are going to do something that makes people uncomfortable or is not suitable for children they have a right to know proir to it taking place.

    I can’t help but wonder if all the guests were rocking it out with her like the lady with the baby was, whether our reactions would be different. There is certainly plenty of food for thought here, it is like the right to offend debate that was floating around a few weeks ago.


  2. Jacana Says:

    Oh dear ….. well I guess it takes all types to make a world. Sort of makes me think how seriously the wedding vows are going to be.
    I like you feel for the Dad trying to shelter his son. Perhaps she should have ensured that their were no children amongst her audience or on the guest list or put out a word of warning.


  3. Cranky Old Man Says:

    Interesting…I am a senior, and generally conservative, but I thought the entrance was refreshing and kind of cool (see how old I am ‘cool’.) I thought the fathers concern for his young son was silly and over the top!

    It was all in fun, nothing lude, only suggestive.


  4. Debbie Y Says:

    I had formed my own opinion prior to reading your post and have to say I think I reacted pretty much the same way you did.

    I wonder if she thought it would make a statement about who she was and her intention was to stand out from the crowd? Unfortunately it is hard to be non-judgmental when the impression received from this short video leaves you thinking less than positive thoughts about her morals, standards etc.

    Traditional + weddings go together in my book but obviously not everyone agrees and while I am all for individuality and self expression I think this bride took that too far. As you say a time and a place …

    If there were only her friends there and it was an informal bbq/wedding and they had an idea of what she would do then I suppose it would be ok (although still it is not for me).

    You can see the shock on the Dads face trying to shield his son from it all and I doubt he would have been the only one to have that reaction. To be honest I probably would have done the same.

    I just can’t fathom how she would have thought something like that was appropriate for a wedding with oldies, children and family present.

    Yes she had a day to remember but was it for the right reasons?


  5. Janet @ Redland City Living Says:

    Hey if she wanted to do that, maybe don’t invite children to your wedding!

    It’s not my cup of tea but maybe it was particularly meaningful to her and the groom (the mind boggles?!!!)?


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